Don't want to talk about school.So Raya was great,magnificent,enjoyable.Everyone looked pretty on that day;I'll upload pictures soon Well,Something about Father said made me want to change. I've said to myself so many times.There are things that can't be changed.Things that are sometimes must be stayed that way.Now , i really can't trust anyone neither my own friends , i do not know why,i would not like to be apart of the circle anymore . Thanks to patience,it brought me through my obstacles,safely.By gaining knowledge it saves me through my education.Like people say , nothing is fair ; indeed i agree.I've always tell to myself live would not be easy,but some people just can't understand. I like school . I like study . I've lost my love towards my friends , when i say it i mean it .Don't ask me why , even i myself don't know why . I don't care what happen no more , i just did my own business and study , talk when I've have to . Mom and Dad grew me up really well , but at times i lost my temper and they are the victims . If i were to told my friends , Other words will come out of their mouth.I'm sorry,maybe what father said was true. Live is Challenging.I now share with my problems only with Mom , she's going to be my listening year everynight before i went to bed. Nowadays , i even can't sleep , knowing that i will lost someone one day.Before going to bed,do you think about death? Well i do .Its been 1 year and One week . 16 September 2008 , He was my grandmother's big brother , i call him Tok Long. On 16 September 2008,5:45 a.m,He left us . Yes , i love him like most of my cousins , aunties,uncle,grandma,do .I still remember the day .It was Tuesday . Mom woke me up with a door knock,crying and said " Tok Long meninggal...." Right then i was speechless.No words can be said except for litres of tears.My cousin, Firdaus and Fana , lived with him. On that they i did not went to school. We were all devastated, when i think i was , How about Fana and Firdaus ? They will be more devastated, heart broken then ever . At 8 , Mom asked me to go down to Teck Whye Market to buy some flower , well the Malays should know . I went down knowing that everything he had right now was only him himself and Allah . Allah took someones live not because Allah hate them , because Allah love them . Allah Loves everyone of his own(Muslim).He treat everyone the same , equally . But it is us that made bad sins that were shouldn't.I prefer staying in the History times , less bad people . The world has change so much . Thinking about death , it creeps me out. Allah , i love Allah . If it was not for him where would i be?A powerful god.Fate is in every gods hand no matter what religion you are . I respect every religion . Yes it may be different but we're humans , living in the same planet , for how many years?Well, i too had no clue.Tok Long was a man , a strong man . Full of patience and love . He showed care for the whole huge family . 70+++ of us. The one he knew , he showed care.He gave advice like most of grandparents do.He knew that his time has arrived . Well , this is my life and story , i don't mind if you don't wanna read it . Well , Grandma told mom the story but i heard it .

Nenek kater dgn mak , tok long kater kalau die meniggal die nk bagi harte.He showed where the harte was and said a few words to my grandma before he left . I remember the day clearly as if it was yesterday.When he died , Grandma did not cry , she kept it.She tried not to cry although we cousins knew she did not want to show.Aunties and Uncles even my dad, they told me , during their childhood tok long was rich and used to bring them anywhere they want to , treat them , buy them things ans so on . The next day , 17 September 08 , Wednesday , in the afternoon. Instead of going to school i went to the cemetery.The body was then sent from the hospital to their home.We put some flowers. The last thing i really love to remember is , kissing him in the forehead ; i called it The Last Kiss . Inside i knew he was a very beloved man.The one who had gone through a lot in life . Everyone cried . I too cried . Loosing someone will never be easy . After praying and so on , we went to Chua Chu Kang Goverment Cemetery . For the very first time i went stepping my foot to the Ground . Alam yang suci . I cried , knowing that everyone of us had lost our own . I went greeting them , and pray . Kubuh, tempat yang paling tenang , buat aku nagis , aku sedar bahawa nyawa sesiapa boleh dan akan ditarik . After buring him and pray to him . I went knealing down to each and every kubuh that was near me and i pray .Knowing that one day i'll to be down there . I wish i could change school , i wish i could restart my life .Great lesson learnt comes with great experience .Now and then , those days still will be remembered and he , tok long will always be in my heart . semoga Allah mengampuni dosanya,Al-Fateha. Amin ; akan kah kamu selalu diingati , sayangi dan cintai.

I came down to the earth for a reason . Same goes to you friend

Ohh i miss my loves.

Salam Sayang ,

Nur Syaieqah /':

My Biggest Fear was too loose you .